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One Side: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes she films me while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her social media – it’s like a jumpscare.

A close companion of 10 years, she, calls herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it strains our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to record everything all the time. During meals out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when other people see her posing or filming – I experience secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She makes vlogs about city life, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. On occasion she films me while dining, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her feed later, and it pops up like a surprise: I’ll have no makeup on, an awkward face or be captured mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to record her at inopportune moments. Often I’ll be talking to someone else, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. I feel like our friendship has turned into me being her free crew. She could easily hire someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my discomfort about the situation, she dismissed it. I've been invited to several industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I invest helping her make content.

I appreciate that she has helped me with my design career, but I don’t want our friendship to become just a ledger of favours. I don't believe she’s fake or dishonest, but at times I feel that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and film me smiling with another. It feels forced. It's crucial her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I love spending time with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being recorded, altered, or shared for an viewers. I am not a prop for her online persona.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I hope my friend to see that the content we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about creating videos. It’s not just a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online allows me to show my personality and engage with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your passions. I look up to people on social platforms who execute that aesthetic of casual, DIY content creation.

Creating content is my interpretation of engaging with life: noticing the details, posting them with an viewership that values the art behind it. I never intend to make Beth uncomfortable. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my method of sharing opportunities, providing her a chance to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could help her career in design too. That’s not blackmail, it’s just being realistic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see the benefits the work we create together can achieve: a foot in the door. I understand not all people enjoys being on camera, but often spontaneity is what makes material genuine. Appearing on video from time to time is part and parcel of being my friend. I'd remove anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my personal filmmaker, but companions help each other in small ways. I thought recording a short video now and then would be enjoyable for Beth. Innovation flourishes in partnership, and having my friend around makes projects energetic and enjoyable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I’d never intentionally humiliate her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I cherish our friendship profoundly and want to avoid making videos to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to compromise: like requesting permission before filming, and steering clear of angles that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about power, it’s about expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Clearly making content is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I experience life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

The Jury: Reader Opinions

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and her friend when they are socializing?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a companion film you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to create content with. Given the dark, looming future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn't imply all those around her is willing material. She must to respect her friend's personal space.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and showing off her life publicly, but it isn't for everyone. It was kind she has helped her friend professionally, but she must to listen to what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the focus in your friendship. Foster some real memories, where genuine feelings are stored, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Each appears confused as to where the line is. The answer lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing defined boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an acceptable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle exploiting their friendship?